“Stripped of physical imprisonment and violent reaction, anger points toward the purest form of compassion, the internal living flame of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for.”
– David Whyte
Along with envy, jealousy, sadness, despair, insecurity, contempt, hate, guilt, fear, and many more, anger is one of those emotions popular belief will qualify as “negative”.
Yet, like everything in life, emotions are not unidimensional. They exist in a context and don’t live in a vacuum. Just as light exists because of darkness, so it is with emotions. Instead of labelling emotions as positive or negative, thereby denying us of further understanding and integrating what happens inside of us, we can lean in with curiosity and talk about emotions that Open us and those that Close us.
How do you tell the difference? Well, simply put, your body will tell you. When your body feels tight, contracted (think of your jaw, forehead, shoulders, stomach, buttocks, fists, etc) and your breath is short, shallow, rapid and high up in your chest – we can say the emotions experienced are closing you off. Closing you off to others, reasoning, resolving, and possibilities. On the other hand, when your body feels relaxed, your nervous system is at ease and your breath is ample and full, we can say you are in a state of openness where connection, creativity, solutions-finding and possibilities are abundant.
When we consider an emotion for what it is without attributing a reactive charge to it, or defining it as good or bad, we can gain greater awareness around our inner states that drive our behaviours. With that in mind, let us then consider the other side of anger and learn to become more emotionally literate through self-awareness, curiosity, non-judgment, knowing what we care about and self-regulation.
The beautiful words in the article are from poet and author David Whyte. A man, a guide whose work has always been illuminating for me.