In light of a series of events in my personal life, my parents’ failing health, and a conversation with a client who literally talked and walked herself out of a promotion although it was not her intent, I realized that life is a series of attempts to get things right. We set goals and work to achieve them. We strive to fulfill our potential. We want to be a good person and act with kindness. We aim to live well in our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body. We want to love and be loved. We want to make a contribution, leave a mark in this world, do good work. Some of these go well; others don’t. Despite our best efforts and intentions, things don’t always go according to plan. Practice makes progress, not perfect, I need to remind myself as I witness how messy our souls can be. And it’s ok.
Perhaps the outcome is not where our best success lies. Perhaps, success lies in how we learn to dance to the different soundtracks events will play in our lives. Some days we waltz through life like a breeze and other days we bump and twist sporting a few bruises along the way. Wayne Dyer reminds us that “when you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way”. While I get the image and the wisdom of this, it is safe to acknowledge that although we may know the routine because we have practiced it enough, sometimes putting one foot in front of the other, minding sensitive toes in the process can be a challenge. We can still trip and stumble and fall flat on our face.
Who hasn’t said or done the wrong thing, making a situation worse? Or stayed silent when saying something may have made a difference? Who hasn’t ruminated in the middle of the night, “I can’t believe I said that!” or “Why didn’t I speak up when I had the chance?” We may especially beat ourselves up when we fall into the same old patterns. “How could I have done this or allowed this, when I know better.” Everyone has some version of this experience. Despite our best intentions, we often miss opportunities and generate breakdowns. So how do we turn breakdowns into breakthroughs? By continuing to show up on the dance floor of life and doing the inner work. This means growing our awareness, getting curious about our triggers, becoming literate around our emotional experiences, understanding we are in choice, committing to what we care about, and continuing to evolve our mindset and behaviours to achieve personal mastery with a reminder to be gentle with ourselves in the process. We are humans in the making.
This dance of life is not meant to be a solo act. We grow through the eyes of others and self-reflecting mirrors by allowing ourselves to be seen in all of our expressions as we seek to attune to our own rhythms in the ME space and learn to dance with others in the WE space.
This is when a coach, a mentor, a friend or a community of help can be of tremendous support as we continue to strive to get things right and get out of our own way.